What's Bdsm really?

Bdsm has existed before it stepped into the limelight thanks to Fifty Shares of Grey, but ever since then everyone has heard about it, everyone has used the term and still many people don't really know much about it. Even worse: what they think they know is wrong.

So, in this article we talk about what BDSM really stands for. It is quite simple once you know:

BDSM is short for 

1. Bondage & Discipline
2. Domination & Submission 
3. Sadism & Masochism (or: sadomasochism)

Bdsm and Fetsh

which means in the classical sense FETISH is not a part of it, which fetish imaginary is quite common.

If you are not part of the scenes Bdsm and fetishism might be one homogeneous mass, but it isn't.
What causes sexual arousal in whom most certainly varies from person to person.
Someone who is into Bdsm will not necessarily wear a rubber cat suit and someone who loves to walk around in rubber and a gas mask might not really be into Bdsm.

Just as someone who might be turned on by objectification and sexual humiliation might even be repulsed by the thought of being caned. And of course vice versa.

Safety

The most important thing about practicing Bdsm is an emphasis on informed consent and safety is also known as SSC (safe, sane and consensual), though others prefer RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink), which places the emphasis more on informed consent, and acknowledges that all activities are potentially risky. Either way, these are holy rules.

Key to safety mentally and physically it to agree upon a safeword, which never under any circumstances is ignored. And: this safeword is for both parties and should be used if either feel uncomfortable. One also can agree on red - for stop, yellow - to warn that a discomfort is imminent - and green - to left the partner know that everything is fine should he or she feel worried.

Be aware that  some activities might be potentially dangerous if proper precautions are neglected. Getting yourself informed, especially if you practice bondage is very important. You don't want to end up with permanent damage.

If you don't neglect any of the rules or precautions, you are not practicing Bdsm. It's abuse!

so.... what bdsm really about?

The answer is: power exchange, but it is not as simple as it sounds.
Obviously, one instantly thinks of the submissive giving up his/her authority to make decisions (either just for a scene, or for his/her entire life) in exchange for the dominant’s agreement be responsible for his/her happiness and health. The extend of this agreement varies greatly.

Dominant behavior

A dominant person enjoys being the object of devotion, and having another person's complete obedience or training a person to be obedient. This satisfies a desire for personal power - may it be through a scene or as a way of life. Some dominants love inflicting pain, others punish through sexual humiliation.

Submissive behavior

A submissive person enjoys submitting their own free will to someone he/she can adore and obey. Here as well are some submissive persons who love being humiliated, others enjoy being physically punished.

Switching

There are also persons who enjoy switching, meaning that they like to play either roles, either for just one scene, or even as a lifestyle.
Switching also is helpful if both partners in a relationship are primarily dominant. With this pratice both partners get what they need if they occasionally take on the role of the submissive.

However, people are not able to take on a role other than their preferred one.